and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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