thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize