I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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