Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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