so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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