Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
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Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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