Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i now understand why vodka
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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