How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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