Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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