Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

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  (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" http://tfl.nu/wh5q
  Replies (24) Good night (10767) Bad night (1248) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally

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  (281): My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally http://tfl.nu/8k7h
  Replies (30) Good night (738) Bad night (4069) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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  (225): I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed" http://tfl.nu/96g5
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (3432) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (931) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.

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  (919): He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy. http://tfl.nu/fux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4854) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.

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  (507): Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars. http://tfl.nu/c0o9
  Replies (5) Good night (2211) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.

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  (503): i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday. http://tfl.nu/ygu9
  Replies (9) Good night (6217) Bad night (870)
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  (714): View more from California

  Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

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  (714): Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww http://tfl.nu/e98y
  Replies (13) Good night (3687) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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  (913): I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim http://tfl.nu/0xxd
  Replies (8) Good night (2475) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4005) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.

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  (210): The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple. http://tfl.nu/ks4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1206) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.

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  (347): Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times. http://tfl.nu/buvd
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.

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  (207): I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager. http://tfl.nu/qawn
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yea. I'm excited about this party too

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  (770): Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand. (678): Yea. I'm excited about this party too http://tfl.nu/ksx0
  Replies (4) Good night (1815) Bad night (349)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"

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  (315): That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty" http://tfl.nu/cos5
  Replies (14) Good night (1171) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt

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