im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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