Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize