I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize