his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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