Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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