My nipple is on Facebook.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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