At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize