it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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