This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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