Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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