i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize