Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize