so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize