so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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