You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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