Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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