Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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