i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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