You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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