i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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