I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Randomize