She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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