she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
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Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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