Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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