do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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