Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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