I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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