i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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