I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i think im in europe. pls send help
wow bdsm is so cute
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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