Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we're making bets on your personal life
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize