I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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