That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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