Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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