Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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