Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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