i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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