I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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