Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize