Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize