Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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